dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Boobs are out for the taking
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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