then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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