he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
