He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
