Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
barbara walters just said penis...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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