dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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