what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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