My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
