We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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