a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
