So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
