Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
