Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
