I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
