I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
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throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
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Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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