i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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