"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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