dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
