you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
