All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
