it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
My liver just had a heart attack.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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