So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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