It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
