YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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