i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
