So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
