I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
