I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
