Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
