Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
How external is "for external use only"?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
