Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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