Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
