This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I think people are normalizing furries
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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