I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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