I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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