Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
