I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
sex in a hospital.. check
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
