I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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