yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
