you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
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I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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