we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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