she was so not down for the gang bang
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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