I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
soo... how was my night?
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