What did we do last night that was yellow?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize