How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
