2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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