got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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