You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
