The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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