He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
