i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
