It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
