He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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