I just saw a hot homeless man
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
