wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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