All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
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