hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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