I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
