I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
