I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
