how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
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Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
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his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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