sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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