I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
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Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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